Journal Entries

by Your Silent Modern War

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about

Journal Entries speaks to subjects such as love and heart-break, but the deeper message--as clearly laid out in "Journal Entries"--is obsession. The Deluxe Edition includes two bonus tracks (an intro and outro), which may help solidify the album better than the original version. Not only does the Deluxe Version have the original full-length album, but also bonus tracks of re-recorded songs and unreleased tracks.

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released November 25, 2014

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Your Silent Modern War Indianapolis, Indiana

I write songs.

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Track Name: Løve or a Tragedy?
V1:
It's like a bullet through my lungs
and the air pours into the street.
Like sideshows in train cars
Where I'm always playing the lead.
Like the questions left unanswered
And an ineffective vaccine.
Like a promise to conquer my fears
When all I feel is defeat.

(Yeah)

V2:
It's like an old man on his death bed
And he can't remember his name
Like flowers in the springtime
For the final frost to claim
Like the words left unspoken
And language that's profane
Like a song that has no meaning
When it reaches the refrain

(Yeah)

V3:
Amidst all the moments
that I'm addicted to the pain
Your kiss is like heroin,
Your voice is like rain
And it's such a goddamn chore
To keep depression at bay
But your eyes keep me focused
And your words keep me sane
Track Name: Sylvia Plath on a Silver Platter
V1:
I have a flower, her name is Adrian
And I have a lover, a glass of ice and a bottle of Jim
And I have a job that makes me want to kill a man
And I have a God that forgot to add me to his plan

Chorus:
But in life, there are few ways to forget
By the ploy called self medication
Or my wife's delicate skin
This life's wearing me thin
It's wearing me thin

V2:
I have a gun, but it's my only friend
And when I strum, my guitar is full of regret
And I have a beard that's growing gray with time
And I have a fear that the church will be empty when I die

Chorus (x2)
Track Name: Interlude 1
I treat you like a princess, but I guess that's not enough
Yeah, I would do most anything to prove you my love
So, you can call me Anakin, I could kill you with my hate
But I swear it wouldn't be on purpose, it's just a product of the pain
Track Name: This Song Isn't About You, But It Might As Well Be
V1:
My mouth is dry from the dusty cigarette smoke
That I push from my lungs when I curse your name

I put blue paint on our past but it never dried
Because you returned to paint it another color

The blinds reflect your golden locks of cellophane
And suffocate my dreams until the night

I can't take off this ring we share together
It's glued to my finger and my tears

Chorus:
But I'll tear down these walls
Before you trap my heart again
In your widowed web of betrayal

And I'll sink with my ship
Before you point your cannon
'Cause I'm lost at sea anyway

V2:
I'm stuck on the bottle, trying to forget your face
But it's slowly running dry

And I'm trying to get far away from this place
'Cause my memory's full of you

I wrote you a song to show you that I loved you
But it's stashed away in the fireplace

I am two steps from falling six-feet under
and you won't even care that I'm gone

Chorus
Track Name: Jump Off Buildings Like Airplanes (feat. Mo Truman)
V1:
Tell me what's the point?
I'm losing my mind
I've fallen through the cracks
I'm wasting my time

V2:
I used to have a soul
But now I'm just a shell
I've withered away
In my own personal hell

Chorus:
So tell me what's the point?
I've lost sight of the end
In a world full of tragedies
Where the hell do I begin?
Because I used to have a soul
Until my conscious caved in
I jumped off buildings like airplanes
It's so easy to pretend
So damn easy to pretend

Bridge:
I've been falling pray to my mind again
Will I ever be good enough?
My weakness lies in imperfections
My weakness lies in my affection

V3:
The sun dries my skin
And wind chaps my lips
I've been taking on water
I'm just another sinking ship

V4:
My body is breaking
I'm turning into stone
I'm a closet with no light
That the nightmares call their home

Chorus (x2)
Track Name: Another Drink to Go to Sleep
V1:
I've fallen in a coma, another complicated delicacy
By the shorelines of Cape Cod in a moment of infidelity
Where my mind's a broken record and my heart's a damned hyperbole
And I promise I'm sober but all I want to do is take a drink
Since my soul's been abandoned like a penny on the side of the street
Taking tips out of coffee cans so my life can find a little meaning
There is no meaning from what I've seen.

Chorus:
Throw me to the wayside
Throw me to the wayside
It's time for me to forget
It's time for me to forget
And I'll drink 'til the day I die
Yeah, I'll drink 'til the day I die
'Cause I have to kill what's left
I have to kill what's left

V2:
A little idiosyncrasy, like a bite from a styrofoam cup
Yet another flawed perspective in the spirit of the young
With the residue of bold coffee and a level of distrust
And the taste of stale cigarettes resting on your tongue
Always scared of losing control or what will become
While falling into habits instead of falling in love
What the hell is love anyway?

Chorus

Bridge:
I'm just so goddamn tired of feeling

Chorus
Track Name: One Hell of a Hangover
I bet you think that I need you
Like somehow my life revolves around yours
And I'm stuck in a pursuit of your acceptance
Like the way a wave craves the shore
If you keep filling your head with these fantasies
They'll eventually become real
Track Name: Interlude 2
What color is your nail polish today?
Is it something you pick based on taste?
Pieces of blue or purple stuck in your teeth
And I'm always left here wondering
What color you picked because I'm so consumed
You are my everything and I'm nothing to you
Track Name: Giving Up is Easier
V1:
I'm tired of singing in metaphors
To tell you how much you broke me
Because saying the sky cracked open
Is less meaningful than saying it was my heart

V2:
And I need you to know how much it hurts
Even though I say that it doesn't
Because I thought that holding on to you
Wouldn't be so fucking hard

Chorus:
So let's give up
This is useless
And I'm bleeding myself dry (x2)

V3:
It's great that you've moved on to him
But don't you dare rub it in my face
Because I'm so goddamned depressed
And stuck here all alone

V4:
I know, i know, I get the hint
You think it's too hard
I'm not asking for too much
I just want to know that someone cares

Chorus

Chorus/Bridge:
So let's give up
This is useless
And I'm bleeding myself dry
So let's give up
Just give up
Let's just give up and let it die
I still love you
You're still so beautiful
But it's time to let it die
So let's just give up
Just give up
Just give up and let it die
Track Name: Journal Entries
Intro:
Wake up
And feel the fire burning
Or maybe that's just the sun
Wake up
And smell the coffee brewing
Or maybe that's just the blood
Wake up
And my memories are spewing
Or maybe that's just the lust
Wake up
What dream am I pursuing?
To be a king without a son

(Guitar Fill)

V1:
What the hell is wrong with me?
I've been falling prey to my mind again
Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever be good enough
I'm so tired of feeling this way
"Don't fall in love with me," she said
But really meant was, "Don't take advantage"

Chorus:
'Cause I'm obsessed
And I'm obsessed with my obsession
And I watch her fall asleep in bed at night
'Cause I'm obsessed
And I'm obsessed with my obsession
When in the hell will this obsession die?

V2:
I miss the smell of Camel Menthols
Stained in your hair like a fine red wine
I miss those days you said you love me
Until I found all you ever did was lie

I miss the smell of Flowerbomb
Radiating from you wrists
I miss the way you wore my clothes
Even though they didn't fit

I miss the thought of when we first touched
And you said that we both knew what happened there
And then the ring, it's useless, it's sitting in my desk drawer
And it's something you will never wear

Chorus:
'Cause I'm obsessed
And I'm obsessed with my obsession
And I watch her fall asleep in bed at night
'Cause I'm obsessed
And I'm obsessed with my obsession
When in the hell will my obsession die?

Chorus:
Yeah I'm obsessed
And I'm obsessed with my obsession
When in the hell will this obsession die? (x2)

Maybe never